


And There Was One Bed (Except There Wasn’t)

by miraclegirl1



Series: It’s A Wonderful Day, and You’re A Horrible Cart Titan [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A little bit of angst, Crack, Gen, Short One Shot, Warriors of Marley, one bed (sorta), pieck is a cryptid, reiner just wants to sleep, theyre all heavy sleepers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27596681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miraclegirl1/pseuds/miraclegirl1
Summary: Porco and Zeke are just trying to sleep peacefully, but Pieck is back on her bullshit.
Series: It’s A Wonderful Day, and You’re A Horrible Cart Titan [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017508
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	And There Was One Bed (Except There Wasn’t)

**Author's Note:**

> This is another crack fic my sister and I cooked up. I like to think that Pieck loves to mess with Zeke and Porco whenever she can, and sometimes drags Reiner into it. This is just a lighthearted fic including my favorite characters, and there are mentions of my last work included. SLIGHT MANGA AND ANIME SPOILERS

When it came to sleeping, the Warriors were generally on the heavier side of things. Exhaustion was no stranger, and it was no surprise that they all slept like rocks. Yes, they were all heavy sleepers, but when it came to sleeping positions, they couldn’t be more different.

Reiner usually slept on his back or his side, and didn’t move much. Pieck slept like she would if she was in her Titan form, curled up with her chin resting on her hands (a force of habit, really). Zeke slept on his stomach with his face buried in a pillow, and there had been several occasions when someone had woken him up for fear he was suffocating himself. Last but not least, Porco was the wildest sleeper. He’d go to sleep in one position, and wake up in a completely different one, sometimes not even on his bed. Pieck had made a habit of predicting what wacky position he’d wake up in. Reiner had made a habit of falling asleep with his back to him; the way Porco slept reminded him too much of Bertholdt.

On this night, like so many others, Reiner entered the Warrior’s shared room, hoping to get at least a couple hours of sleep. Zeke and Porco were already passed out in their respective beds, with Porco flat on his back with his arms crossed over his chest ,above his covers (what madman slept above his covers?), and Zeke snoring softly, the sound muffled by the pillow.

Reiner sighed as he walked to his bed, scrubbing his face with his hand. He was on the verge of collapse, but at the same time dreaded the dark confines of unconsciousness. No matter how tired he was, he always woke up drenched in sweat, with memories of his time on Paradis plaguing him. Tonight, he hoped to at least get a few hours of undisturbed rest.

He was just about to kick his shoes off, when the door creaked open, and in limped Pieck. She stopped in the doorway, surveying everyone else, a mischievous light coming to life in her eyes. It had been a while since she’d messed with her comrades, the last time being when she shot Zeke in the foot. Tonight seemed like the perfect night for a good natured prank.

She took in Zeke and Porco, and decided they would be her newest victims. Out of all of them, Porco was her favorite to mess with, Zeke being her second. She spared Reiner a glance; he was looking at her quite uneasily, as if he suspected she was up to something.

Reiner watched the small woman apprehensively as she made her way over to him, a slight grin on her face. Pieck had already formulated a plan, but in order to execute it, she would need Reiner’s help.

“Hello, Reiner,” she said, her voice a whisper so as not to wake the other two; not that she needed to whisper, but she wasn’t taking any chances. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

“Do I want to know what it is?” He replied, narrowing his eyes the smallest bit. It had taken him some time to get used to Pieck’s little pranks, especially since she was usually such a serious woman. Even now, he still couldn’t tell what she was thinking behind those sleepy eyes.

“It’s nothing bad,” she said. “I have a wonderful little way to mess with Poc and Zeke, but I need your help to carry it out.” Reiner’s suspicions were confirmed; Pieck was in a playful mood.

“I don’t know,” he said after a moment. “Maybe we should let them sleep.”

“Oh, I’m not going to wake them up, I promise.” She grinned.

For the briefest of seconds, a memory flashed across Reiner’s mind. A memory of Connie and Sasha, begging him to help them pull off one of their elaborate schemes. “We need your muscles, man,” Connie had said while Sasha nodded vigorously. “C’mon, it’ll be hilarious!”

Reiner’s breath hitched in his chest, his eyes glazed over with sadness. There were times when Pieck reminded him too much of the infamous duo, and it never failed to make his heart ache.

“Reiner?” Pieck’s voice dragged him out of his stupor. He shook his head slightly, coming back to the present. He looked up at Pieck, who quirked an eyebrow, waiting for his answer.

“If you help, I’ll put the gun away,” Pieck offered, referring to the very same gun she had used to shoot Zeke earlier that month. Even though she had promised to give it back, she never had, and every now and then would bring it out, if only to see the nervous look on Zeke’s face. It made them all wary, and Pieck knew that, so in hopes of swaying Reiner, she offered to put it away. For how long, only she knew.

Reiner stared at her. “Fine,” he sighed, standing up. Looks like sleep was going to have to wait. “What do you need me to do?”

Pieck smiled again. “Wonderful. All I need you to do is push Porco’s bed next to Zeke’s.”

Reiner did a double take, looking down at her. “I-I’m sorry. What? Why?”

Pieck took her time answering. She made her way slowly to her own bed, flopping down on it before responding. “I can’t do it myself. Besides, don’t you agree it’ll be hilarious when they wake up?”

Reiner watched her in disbelief. Maybe Porco was right, maybe Pieck really was crazy.

“You know what, I’m not even gonna question you,” he mumbled, and took to pushing Porco’s bed next to Zeke’s. It was a rather long process, as he didn’t want to risk waking either of them.

“That should do,” Pieck said as Reiner finished the task, straightening up to examine his work.

They both watched as Porco flipped over, rather violently, and flung his leg over Zeke’s back. How he got his leg up that high, they had no idea. Both Zeke and Porco remained asleep, and already Pieck was finding this highly amusing.

“And now we wait,” she said simply. “Thank you for helping me, Reiner. I’ll make sure to take the blame when one of them inevitably wakes up.”

“Thank you, Pieck, that’s very kind,” Reiner said flatly. “And why did you do this?”

Pieck yawned, curling up on her own mattress, offering Reiner a tired smile. “I think it will be very entertaining when they wake up.” With that, she drifted off to sleep, leaving Reiner to wonder how the hell she came up with these shenanigans, and eventually fall asleep himself.

The sound of movement and the faint smell of coffee roused Zeke out of his slumber. He inhaled deeply, shifting his face out of the hollow of his pillow. Watery sunlight gleamed through the windows, visible through his eyelids, and he could hear the faint breathing of who he assumed were the other sleeping Warriors.

He went to stretch- and immediately froze when he felt the pressure of something, or someone, against his leg.  
Ever so slowly, almost as if he didn’t want to know what he was about to see, Zeke opened his eyes. He had a feeling whatever he had woken up to was going to be, to say the least, headache-inducing.

Whatever Zeke had been expecting, it certainly was not Porco’s feet inches away from his face. 

He blinked once, twice, and then again a third time, as if hoping the scene would go away. However, no matter how many times he blinked, Porco’s feet stayed right where they were. 

Ever so slowly, he pushed himself up on his elbows, eyes following Porco’s feet, to Porco’s torso, and finally Porco’s head, which was nestled against Zeke’s leg. His arms were thrown over Zeke’s waist, and it almost looked like he was cuddling him.

Careful so as not to wake him, Zeke extracted himself out of Porco’s grip, and rolled over to sit up completely. He examined Porco, who was still in his own bed. Zeke would never brag about having the best memory, but he was pretty damn sure they had gone to bed on opposite sides of the room. He fumbled for his glasses, slipping them on, and turned to glare at the person who he assumed was behind this.

Pieck was already awake and watching him, gauging his reaction. She waved, her expression betraying nothing. “Sleep well, Zeke?”

Before he could answer, Porco moved, mumbling something in his sleep. Both Zeke and Pieck watched as Porco turned over-

And rolled right off the bed.

He hit the floor with a thud that made Reiner shoot straight up in his own bed, looking around wildly for the source of the thump. Pieck chuckled quietly to herself. Porco ending up on the floor was a daily occurrence, but it never failed to make her laugh.

Zeke turned his attention back to the dark haired woman. “Care to explain why I woke up with Porco right next to me.” He looked at Porco with the faintest air of distaste; the other man was still passed out on the floor, completely oblivious to everything else.

Pieck didn’t answer, her small smile widening into a shit-eating grin. Zeke glared at her; he hadn’t even been awake for five minutes and he was already fed up with everything. He eased out of his own bed, standing up and stretching. He needed coffee, it was too early for this. 

“Well, if you must know, I had Reiner push your beds together while you two were sleeping last night.” Pieck answered finally, raking her wild black hair out of her face. “I thought it would be funny.”

Zeke sighed. He should have known. Pieck did stuff like this on a whim all the time, but still. “Really, Reiner? You helped her?”

Reiner had laid back down by now, his back to everyone else. Whether or not he was actually asleep was up for debate. Regardless, he didn’t answer.

Zeke shook his head, moving his hand to scratch behind his ear, a habit he had had for years, and one that kicked in when he was in deep thought,, or just annoyed.

“Well, my guess was right,” Pieck said lightly, sliding out of bed and reaching for her jacket. “I apologize for the inconvenience, Zeke, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.” She stood up, grabbing a mug she’d had sitting on the floor, and headed for the door, leaving behind a very confused Zeke, a snoozing Porco, and a possibly sleeping Reiner.

The mattress creaked in protest as Zeke sat down, rubbing his temples. He was seriously considering going back to sleep and was doing just that when the door opened once more.

“Oh, to further answer your earlier question,” Pieck said, poking her head through the door, smiling at Zeke one more time. “I just wanted to see what would happen.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you have any ideas of what the Warriors should get up to next, leave a comment, I’d love to hear it!


End file.
